Couples I meet who are experiencing marital conflict many times are in love with their true love. The issues are separate from their love, although when you are stressed, everything becomes part of that stressor including your true love. How do we define true love, and how do we keep it going once it happens? I never could define it until I saw someone die from the loss of their true love. They didn't die all of a sudden physically, but they died inside, their heart and soul first and then the body followed. Broken heart syndrome is real, and it does happen when someone loses their true love. True love has many components, but here are several that I think are most important.
1. You aren't happy or if you are upset about something, it makes your partner feel on edge.
2. Faults aren't criticized or made fun of but rather part of the package.
3. Commitment is deep for the relationship and neither partner seeks or desires another.
4. When you feel down, your partner feels down and tries to cheer you up.
5. Your partner defends you from anyone who talks bad about you.
6. Your partner can spot you from a distance, by the sound of your laugh, the way you walk, and your essence. They are connected on a level other than human, meaning they feel you.
7. Your partner cannot go a day without saying your name.
8. Your partner talks well about you when you aren't around.
9. Your partner prioritizes you because there is no one else they really want to be with.
10. In the event you lose your hair, get fat, or change in any way physically, your partner is still attracted to you.
True love outlasts all methods commonly used to help couples spark their relationship. In fact, the most important aspect of keeping true love alive is to prioritize it, be aware and grateful for your love, and continue allowing it to deepen. This Valentine's Day, if you are treating your true love, then making time to celebrate your love is the most important thing you can do. Below are a few ideas that will make your loved one feel most special.
1. Listen to your partner. There is no greater form of love than to really be heard.
2. Buy an old poetry book and circle one of the poems that remind you of your true love.
3. Have a special date planned for your true love. This can include dinner or dessert, a picnic, or a lunch in a beautiful old hotel. The more creative the better.
4. Make a love letter for your true love. Write inside the card at least five things you adore about your true love.
5. Gifts are always nice, but they aren't necessary. The most important thing you want to give is your total attention. Be present without your electronic devises.
IF you have a true love, you are statistically one in one hundred who does...so cherish them with every bit of energy you have. -Mary Jo Rapini
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