|
|
Current and Breaking News for Professionals, Consumers and Media |
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Current and Breaking News for Professionals, Consumers and Media |
|
|
|
|
|
My friend is not a scientist nor is she in the field of psychology. She most likely has never heard of the “the Michelangelo phenomenon". This Phenomenon that was studied by Eli Finkel and Caryl Rusbult shows that when close partners affirm and support each other's ideal selves, they and the relationship benefit greatly. When the spouse sculpted the relationship well the relationship functions better and both partners are happier. So why is this different than just being a loving, supportive partner? Many times when you are loving or supportive you aren’t effective at helping your partner achieve their highest goals. If you think about it you are sculpting away the flaws in your partner to help them develop their own dreams, aspirations and other traits they hope to learn. For example if your wife wants to go back to school you sculpt her so she can be a better organizer and task completer. You find out what it is you can do to make her going back to school. If it means you pick the kids up, make dinner, and do homework you do that while telling her how great she is doing in school. Telling her how wonderful it is she can keep up with everything including her homework. You help your partner see how skilled she is so she won’t feel the stress and become overwhelmed. The more confident she becomes the more she will feel in control. Tips in learning how to sculpt. 1. Find out what your partner’s dreams and or aspirations are. Trying to make the person someone you want and not someone they want to be is called controlling not sculpting. 2. When you find out what areas in which your partner wants to be stronger or in which they feel vulnerable, you ask them how they see you being able to help (you are asking for guidance here). 3. When your partner says something or presents a situation where you can see they need a little help you encourage them by thinking of another time they were able to do this and you remind them. For example, if your partner usually forgets names at a party (and they feel badly about this) when you go to the party with them you say the person’s name for your partner. Then when your partner meets the person and can say their name, you give them a little hug and say something like “You are so good with people”. You don’t remind them of how you helped them. Your partner begins to build more confidence with this and doesn’t get as anxious about it at the next party. The idea behind sculpting is that you do this for a long time. The craft of sculpting takes years of chipping away, to encourage your partner to become their true self. The difficulty with sculpting is that it must be done without trying to make the person change to make you happier. Sculpting someone (chipping away at them) to change something you don’t like is called “Nagging”. It usually causes food addiction, alcohol addiction and or divorce. For more information go to: www.maryjorapini.com Mary Jo Rapini, MEd, LPC, is featured on TLC’s new series, Big Medicine which completed season one and two. She is also a contributing expert for Cosmopolitan magazine, Women’s Health, First, and Seventeen magazine. Mary Jo has a syndicated column (Note to Self) in the Houston Chronicle, is a Love/Relationsips columnist to HealthNewsDigest.com and “Ask Mary Jo” in Houston Family Magazine. She is an intimacy and sex counselor, and specializes in empowering relationships. She has worked with the Pelvic restorative center at Methodist Hospital since 2007. Mary Jo is a popular speaker across the nation, with multiple repeat requests to serve as key-note speaker for national conferences. Her dynamic style is particularly engaging for those dealing with intimacy issues and relationship challenges, or those simply hanging on to unasked questions about sex in relationships. She was recently a major participant in a symposium for young girls dealing with body image and helping girls become strong women. Rapini is the author of Is God Pink? Dying to Heal and co-author of Start Talking: A Girl’s Guide for You and Your Mom about Health, Sex or Whatever. She has appeared on television programs including Montel, Fox Morning News and various Houston television and radio programs. Keep up with the latest advice at Mary Jo Rapini Subscribe to our FREE Ezine and be eligible for Health News, discounted products/services and coupons related to your Health. We publish 24/7. HealthNewsDigest.com We videotape Press Conferences, produce Satellite MediaTour's, B-rolls, PSA's, - all with distribution: HealthyTelevisionProductionstvmike13@healthnewsdigest.com Top of Page 
|
Contact
Us | Job Listings
| Help | Site
Map | About Us
Advertising
Information | HND
Press Release | Submit
Information | Disclaimer
Site hosted by Sanchez Productions
