From HealthNewsDigest.com
Male Menopause? Yes, Male Menopause is Real
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Mar 14, 2010 - 9:10:00 AM
(HealthNewsDigest.com) - Is your husband or partner acting strangely lately? Does he seem to forget things, or is he waking up sweating? He may have a virus, but it is also likely that if he is over 40 years old he could be suffering from “male menopause”. As women we have blamed our forgetfulness and night sweats on our hormones, and it is equally likely your partner could be suffering from hormone upsets. Male menopause is real and it does happen (although many physicians do not prefer that label). Just as female menopause is due in large part to a drop in hormones, men are affected the same way. If you see this in your partner it is important to talk to him about this very real occurrence. Just as menopause is a normal transition in women it is also a normal transition in aging men. There are other medical issues that may cause a drop in hormone levels in your partner which should be evaluated by a medical doctor. For the most part menopause in both men and women isn’t an illness but you can find solutions to help alleviate the symptoms menopause creates.
Part of my job is working at Methodist Hospital (Houston) with the Center for Restorative Pelvic Medicine. One of the issues the Urologists and I work with is the decrease of testosterone as men age. What is male menopause and what makes it different from women’s is it a gradual decline in a man’s testosterone levels. Not all men will go through menopause (andropause) and it is unknown why some do. Some men will see their testosterone levels drop significantly by the time they are 40. By age 50, half of all men will experience a significant reduction in testosterone levels, causing a variety of uncomfortable ailments. For many men hormone levels change due to illness, depression and obesity. During female menopause women’s estrogen levels drop and then disappear. This causes acute symptoms and loss of fertility. Men’s symptoms are less intense and men do not lose their fertility completely during male menopause (look at the 70 and 80 year olds who can still father a child). Men do usually notice a decrease in sex drive.
One of the aspects of male menopause that I deal with specifically is the depression that accompanies it. No one is sure which comes first but they usually present together. Depression is many times noticed first by the spouse. Men are not as able to talk about feeling sad, irritable, or angry as women are. Therefore it is important to talk to your husband if you notice these feelings being acted out. Jed Diamond wrote a book titled “Male Menopause”. The following chart is a tool mentioned in Jed Diamond’s book to evaluate men’s and women’s depression. The same illness (depression) presents differently depending on one’s sex. Although you may see parts of male depression that fit a woman and vice versa this is a good analysis of the differences.
Female Depression Male Depression
Blame themselves Feel others are to blame
Feel sad, apathetic, and worthless Feel angry, irritable, and ego inflated
Feel anxious and scared Feel suspicious and guarded
Avoids conflicts at all costs Creates conflicts
Always tries to be nice Overtly or covertly hostile
Withdraws when feeling hurt Attacks when feeling hurt
Has trouble with self respect Demands respect from other
Feels they were born to fail Feels the world set them up to fail
Slowed down and nervous Restless and agitated
Chronic procrastinator Compulsive time keeper
Sleeps too much Sleeps too little
Feels guilty for what they do Feels ashamed for who they are
Uncomfortable receiving praise Frustrated if not praised enough
Finds it easy to talk about weaknesses and doubts Terrified to talk about weaknesses and doubts
Strong fear of success Strong fear of failure
Needs to "blend in" to feel safe Needs to be "top dog" to feel safe
Uses food, friends, and "love" to self-medicate Uses alcohol, TV, sports, and sex to self medicate
Believe their problems could be solved only if they could be a better (spouse, co-worker, parent, friend) Believe their problems could be solved only if their (spouse, co-worker, parent, friend) would treat them better
Constantly wonder, "Am I loveable enough?" Constantly wonder, "Am I being loved enough?"
The best place to start when evaluating male menopause or depression is with your family doctor. Your family doctor may need to make a referral to a urologist and a psychiatrist to make sure you are alleviated from troublesome symptoms. A counselor may help you and your partner with communication and feeling more connected and provide a safe place to talk about these issues. Perhaps the worst part of menopause and the symptoms that present with it are the feelings of embarrassment or discomfort with talking about it (there is more support for menopausal women than menopausal men). Most likely if you begin by talking with your spouse you will feel more connected and less alone. We all get older, and our bodies go through the lessening of hormones together. How much nicer to have a partner to laugh with when you wake up in a sweat.
Mary Jo Rapini, MEd, LPC, is featured on TLC’s new series, Big Medicine which completed season one and two. She is also a contributing expert for Cosmopolitan magazine, Women’s Health, First, and Seventeen magazine. Mary Jo has a syndicated column (Note to Self) in the Houston Chronicle, is a Love/Relationsips columnist to HealthNewsDigest.com and “Ask Mary Jo” in Houston Family Magazine. She is an intimacy and sex counselor, and specializes in empowering relationships. She has worked with the Pelvic restorative center at Methodist Hospital since 2007.
Mary Jo is a popular speaker across the nation, with multiple repeat requests to serve as key-note speaker for national conferences. Her dynamic style is particularly engaging for those dealing with intimacy issues and relationship challenges, or those simply hanging on to unasked questions about sex in relationships. She was recently a major participant in a symposium for young girls dealing with body image and helping girls become strong women. Rapini is the author of Is God Pink? Dying to Heal and co-author of Start Talking: A Girl’s Guide for You and Your Mom about Health, Sex or Whatever. She has appeared on television programs including Montel, Fox Morning News and various Houston television and radio programs. Keep up with the latest advice at http://maryjorapini.com
For more information go to: Mary Jo Rapini
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