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Love/Relationship Columnist Author: Mary Jo Rapini, MEd, LPC - Love/Relationship Columnist - Last Updated: Jul 14, 2013 - 11:47:53 AM

Can You Pray Your Way to a Better Sex Life?

By Mary Jo Rapini, MEd, LPC - Love/Relationship Columnist -
Jul 14, 2013 - 11:43:38 AM

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( - I see couples every day who are referred for help with their intimacy and sex life. There are numerous medications and treatments that can help minimize sexual dysfunctions. Resolving past conflicts and resentments can also spark a tired sex life. Methods such as learning to breathe differently, meditation and yoga can improve libido and sexual intimacy. One method not as well studied but also valid in bringing a couple closer together and improving sex lives is prayer. The great thing about prayer is you can do it together anywhere, and it makes no difference what religious doctrine you follow. It doesn't matter if you share the same faith nor does it matter if you kneel or stand. The important part of the method, if you are using it to increase your sexual intimacy, is that you do it together.

Reasons prayer works for couples to build intimacy:

1.      When you pray together it shows unity and a belief and respect for something more powerful than you. This helps couples break down their ego and sense of being right.

2.      Praying together helps women especially feel more emotional and respectful of their spouse.

3.      Praying is a spiritual act and therefore it is more intimate than talking superficially.

4.      It helps break down barriers that the couple share, but cannot fix. For example, praying for forgiveness helps each partner feel more forgiven just by praying together.

5.      Holding hands and praying strengthens a bond between a couple, and it helps both partners feel more secure in their marriage.

6.      Praying together helps spouses understand they cannot change each other and promotes acceptance.

7.      Lastly, and certainly not least, it helps put marriage in its proper place, above the kids and the outside world. It helps build the sacred component into your wedding vows.

Prayer is wonderful, but God helps those who help themselves. The best way to improve your intimacy and sex is to have an active prayer life together, but also to seek medical advice and maintain a healthy lifestyle. Intimacy and sex are important to the couple's health as well as the relationship; it isn't selfish to want to enjoy this part of your life. In fact, it is just the opposite. To push sexual problems under the rug or to blame your partner for their need for sex is not only self serving, but destructive to your health and marriage. -Mary Jo Rapini

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