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Love/Relationship Columnist Author: Mary Jo Rapini, MEd, LPC - Love/Relationship Columnist - Last Updated: Jul 7, 2016 - 5:36:25 PM

7 Ways to Make Your Long Distance Relationship Rock! (Video)

By Mary Jo Rapini, MEd, LPC - Love/Relationship Columnist -
Aug 19, 2014 - 11:58:11 AM

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( - Being in a long distance relationship is more successful if you've known each other for a long time, and have impending plans for a future together. It also helps if you see each other every 2 to 3 weeks. Although long distance relationship can be tough, they also offer each of you an opportunity to grow and evolve as well as sharing a life together. There are things that can help you feel closer to your partner during an extended period of time. I have listed six that are the most helpful.

Remember, living apart doesn't mean you aren't intimate and close. It means you have to be able to communicate that closeness without being physically present.

1.      Set your expectations clearly. The couples that are able to say this will be a challenge for us, but we can make it, are much more likely to make it.

2.      Communication is the most important aspect of any relationship, so expand your ability to communicate. Try poetry, writing letters, sending lines of funny songs, or start a blog between the two of you. Main thing is to go the extra mile to communicate and make each other feel loved.

3.      Learn to enjoy your independence. Co-dependent people cannot sustain a long distance relationship. This is the time to invest in every class, dance lesson, or any other activity you've always wanted to do. You don't have to approve it by anyone else, and it will make good conversation with your partner. As a partner, it's important to share what your partner's doing, but not to control your partner.

4.      Find fun ways to add intimacy and sex to your long distance relationship. Sure, sex and intimacy are best when you are physically together, but that doesn't excuse you from engaging in intimacy each day.

  • A photo a day keeps the blues away.
  • Use Facetime, texts, emails, or begin a blog of your life together apart. You can share it with your kids some day.
  • Talk at night before you go to bed.
  • Be the first to send a morning text with a photo of you waking up.
  • Wear his T-shirt and have hers' on your pillow; your partner's scent brings them closer to you.

5.      Make your friendship and family relationships a priority. Family and friends can help support you when you miss your partner, but they are also a wonderful network of adding conversation and closeness to your partner. Keeping your loved one who lives in another city in the family circle helps them feel more connected and loved by you. When you do get together with your partner though it's important your family and friends understand you want time alone with your partner. Preparing them for your partner's visit is important.

6.      Have a vision for the relationship. There should be a time limit of how long you plan to go in between visits as well as what your plans are for the future. Sometimes it's your plans that will help calm you when you miss your partner the most.

7.      Focus on the positive. When you focus on the negative or say how bad it is you aren't together, you bring your partner down, and they become more anxious regarding the vitality of your relationship. According to research, long distance couples report the same level of intimacy, trust, commitment and satisfaction as geographically close couples. Absence really does make the heart grow fonder. -Mary Jo Rapini


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