Legal Issues
10 Things to Do When Someone Close is Dying
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Mar 12, 2008 - 5:54:55 PM

New Self-Help List Can Assist and Advise Caregivers at a Critical Time


(HealthNewsDigest.com) - La Habra, Calif. – Handling the needs of a dying family member or friend is a difficult task for which most people are not adequately prepared. To help, the Institute for Healthcare Advancement (IHA) offers a list of 10 steps that can help organize and ease the process of taking on the legal, medical and emotional issues that arise during the dying process.

“The complexities that take place when a loved one is dying should be minimized for those in charge so that they can focus on dealing with their grief,” said Gloria Mayer, R.N., Ed.D., president/CEO of IHA. “We have found that there are just not enough materials out there advising families on the all of the critical steps that have to be taken during this traumatic time.”

Here are some easy-to-understand steps to assist those close to someone who is dying.

What To Do When Someone is Dying

Make a list ahead of time of the top priorities for yourself and the person you are caring for. This may include notifying family and friends, making funeral arrangements, contacting hospice, placing a death notice and funeral arrangements in the local newspaper, etc. The list will be a savior when things get sad or hectic.

Discuss with the dying person their desires. This must be done with great care. If the person does not want to know their prognosis, then you may want to work toward acceptance. If the person knows their prognosis and is willing to discuss it, then you can plan according to their desires.

Accept person no matter how demanding, depressed or withdrawn. A dying person experiences a wide array of emotional states; this is a natural process. Acceptance is the best way of caring.

Don’t force the person to do anything such as eating or participating in activities. The physical endurance of a dying person can change and the person may need more rest. Although it is good to be encouraging, do not force an issue.

Be prepared for major physical changes in the dying person. The body is losing its ability to maintain itself and changes occur which reflect this loss. The blood pressure lowers, body temperature fluctuates, there may be increased perspiration or skin color change. Be accepting of the changes and realize this is common in dying people.

Keep the person comfortable and pain-free. This can be done by medications, physical comfort measures, hypnosis, music, etc. It is very important to keep the person comfortable. It doesn’t matter if a medication is addicting.

Allow appropriate silence. The dying person may begin to withdraw and does not need to use words. Holding hands, rubbing their backs or just sitting with him or her may provide all the comfort and support needed. Be a good, nonjudgmental listener if the dying person wishes to speak. Final thoughts imparted are very important to the person speaking them. Respect and allow this time for them.

Prepare for death. Make sure funeral arrangements have been made and that someone can notify relatives and friends. Ask the dying person if their will is in order and reflects their current wishes. Know how to contact the funeral home. If you have a wake or reception, make arrangement before the death.

Have a list with telephone numbers of credit cards, insurance policies, Medicare, Social Security, and other companies and entities that may need to be notified of the person’s death. You might want someone else to notify these people afterwards so make arrangements for that to occur.

Arrange to have grieving time away from work. You may want to take time off to celebrate the life of your lost one, or grieve at home alone or with friends and family. In the Jewish religion, one spends a week grieving. In each religion, there are traditions that could be followed to assist getting beyond the loss. Arrange for the time before the death occurs. Consider counseling or support groups.

In 2005, IHA posted on its website an easy-to-use Advance Directive, created by Rebecca Sudore, M.D. from University of California-San Francisco. The legal “Advance Health Care Directive” form is easier to read and understand than previous documents available. An Advance Directive is a legal document that spells out what kind of care you would want, and not want, if you were to become unable to make your own decisions about your healthcare. This Advance Health Care Directive is available on the IHA website, www.iha4health.org.

“Our mission is to help people in all stages of life, including those critical later years,” said Dr. Mayer. “We are making our ‘10 Things To Do’ list available to a variety of front line people whose job it is to help those confronted with this issue every day.” The “10 Things To Do” listing will also be available on IHA’s website.

IHA is a La Habra-based not-for-profit organization dedicated to empowering people to better health. It is nationally recognized for its efforts in health literacy, including its “What To Do For Health” self-help health books, which have sold more than 2 million copies, and its annual national health literacy conference for healthcare providers and educators. IHA provides direct healthcare services through its pediatric medical and dental clinic and La Habra, California, and administers the La Habra Family Resource Center. For more information, please go to www.iha4health.org or call toll free (800) 434-4633.

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