Guest Columnist
Enjoying Valentine's Day Without a Valentine
By
Jan 28, 2010 - 12:33:55 PM

(HealthNewsDigest.com) - Happy Valentine's Day to me. It is unfortunate that Valentine's Day has gotten blown out of proportion and has come to "symbolize the value of a person depending on what someone gives you on Valentine's Day," says Kathleen Gilbert, a professor in Indiana University's Department of Applied Health Science. Valentine's Day can be just as enjoyable if you don't receive a gift, or if you don't have a significant other, and Gilbert offers the following tips as proof:

Get a sense of proportion. "Valentine's Day is like any other day," says Gilbert, and if you view it that way, then it won't bother you that you don't have a special someone to spend it with.

Change the way you think of what love means. It seems that a lot of people have a "distorted idea of romantic love." Love is not prince charming riding on horseback coming to sweep you off your feet. That is "not a realistic representation of what love is all about," says Gilbert. If you redefine your definition of love, then there won't be so much pressure to find such an unrealistic version. If you lack romantic love, then think of friends and family and the love that they give you.

Focus on yourself. Take the opportunity to identify with yourself and the things that you love and that make you happy.
Gilbert also notes that Valentine's Day can be rather difficult after you have experienced the loss of a loved one -- "them not being there exaggerates that grieving experience." Gilbert offers these tips to overcome that sadness:

If you're a member of a faith community, join one of their groups. It keeps you moving and preoccupied. It also exposes you to, as Gilbert calls them, a "pool of eligibles."
Do something meaningful, such as help a friend or join a volunteer activity. "It allows you to get outside of yourself," says Gilbert, and makes you feel like you are connected to other people.

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