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At the preschool age, children are broadening their experiences and learning rapidly. Appetite fluctuations and strange food combinations, though unnerving, are common. After toddlerhood and before first grade children are in a “thinning out” period – growing in height with a much slower growth in weight. Preschoolers may eat very small amounts of food and judging by adult portions, you are convinced your child is starving. This starving child, however, is the picture of health with boundless energy. Young children are reliable judges of how much to eat. Left on their own, with no urging or coaxing, they will eat to appetite – eating when hungry, stopping when full. That’s a habit many adults wish they had. Parents, often with the best intentions, sabotage this natural appetite control by offering too much food and insisting on “clean plates” or worst yet “happy plates.” This tells the child loud and clear that an ‘unhappy plate,” with food left on it, is bad. At this age a child and his actions are one and the same. A bad act, in the child’s mind, makes him a bad person. Adults too often classify foods as good-for-you or bad-for-you, making a child feel virtuous or guilty about what they ate. Let’s look at a few typical mealtime behavior issues for preschoolers. My 4-year old daughter insists I set a place for her imaginary friend at every meal. Should I? Yes! Part of the joy of being 4 is having an imaginary friend. One of my daughters had an imaginary “monk-me” (monkey) who regularly ate with the family. Preoccupation with sharing a meal with an imaginary friend may keep your daughter interested in eating longer and she’ll be less apt to get restless and fidgety. Most imaginary friends don’t get much older than 4, so by the time your daughter turns 5 she’ll probably stop bringing her friend to dinner. Why does my 4-year old announce he must go to the bathroom in the middle of every meal? A bathroom visit in the middle of a meal is not uncommon at this age. Four-year olds get very engrossed in activities. Rather than disturb what they are doing, they ignore the urge to go to the bathroom. If a meal interrupts an activity, after a few minutes of eating when the entire digestive tract is stimulated, the urge may return with such intensity that a trip to the bathroom now verges on an emergency. Knowing this is normal, when you call your son to eat, remind him to wash his hands and go to the bathroom, even if he tell you he doesn’t have to go. This will usually eliminate the mid-meal scramble, or at the least make the need to go less urgent. My husband gets annoyed because our 5 year old has terrible table manners. What can I do? Good table manners evolve, sometimes very slowly, by imitating parents and older brothers and sisters. A 5-year old who uses a fork and spoon, resorts to fingers only once in a while, seldom spills his drink, uses a napkin sometimes, and occasionally says “please” and “thank you” spontaneously is well mannered for his age. Some trouble spots can be avoided with a little planning. Can your child comfortably reach the table? Precut or fix your son’s portion to make eating easier. If you precut spaghetti, it is less likely Dad will be annoyed watching large pieces dangle out of your son’s mouth and sauce splash against his shirt. Don’t insist on using a fork. Many children prefer to scoop with a spoon. Give your son a dish with sides to scoop against. If dinner is long (anything over 10 minutes is long for a 5-year old), excuse your son to play quietly when he is done with his main course and call him back to join you for dessert. At this age, a flexible attitude about eating is the only sensible approach. Otherwise, family meals become battlefields where no one enjoys the food. Ages 3 to 6 are a special time for your child’s food experiences. During these years, for perhaps the last time, you still have total control over what she eats. At this age, children of all cultures form ideas about food – what is edible, poisonous, neutral, taboo and disgusting. The opinions and attitudes they form will influence their food consumption for the rest of their lives. Help your child enjoy good food experiences. © NRH Nutrition Consultants, Inc. Jo-Ann Heslin, MA, RD, CDN is a registered dietitian and the author of the nutrition counter series for Pocket Books with 12 current titles and sales in excess of 8 million books. The books are widely available at your local or on-line bookseller. Current titles include: The Calorie Counter, 5th Ed., 2010 The Ultimate Carbohydrate Counter, 3rd Ed., 2010 The Complete Food Counter, 3rd ed., 2009 The Fat Counter, 7th ed., 2009 The Healthy Wholefoods Counter, 2008 The Cholesterol Counter, 7th Ed., 2008 The Diabetes Carbohydrate and Calorie Counter, 3rd Ed., 2007 For more information on Jo-Ann and her books, go to Jo-Ann Heslin Subscribe to our FREE Ezine and receive current Health News, be eligible for discounted products/services and coupons related to your Health. We publish 24/7. HealthNewsDigest.com For advertising or promotion, email: tvmike13@healthnewsdigest.com Top of Page 
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